pain, pain go away.

Okay, I am going to vent about my butt pain in this post. Sorry if I come off as a baby, which I am one, a very big baby. I have been a dramatic baby all my life; no reason to stop now when pregnant and miserable.

I mentioned before on this blog that about 5 years ago I was getting ready for work in my apartment in Idaho and fell. It was such a sweet apartment. It was a studio/loft, the bedroom was up a flight a stairs and it over looked the living room. I loved that apartment! I took a slip from the top of the stairs and fell down the stairs. I laid at the bottom crying with my cell phone in hand and called work and said I would be unable to be there and then I called my Mom to come help and get me. I went to the doctor and he said I broke my tailbone and that there is nothing really to be done, it just needed to heal itself. He also gave me amazing pain medicine that made the pain go away. The brake took a long time to heal. I think a couple months before I wasn't in constant pain and then a couple more months after that I only had pain in certain sitting positions. As soon as the pain went away I rarely thought of it expect to tell the funny story of how I fell down my stairs.

Now, it's a every moment thought. I can barely find a sitting position that works for me and then when I get up from a sitting position it's like someone is taking a hammer and hitting my butt with it.

I have mentioned this pain over and over again to my doctor but there is little she can do. Suggestions for pain relief:

bathes: I already do that daily, & they do help to ease pain for awhile

specialty pillows: doesn't really help because the pain is internal and no matter how you displace the weight while sitting, your still sitting, still putting weight on pain. And the baby puts it's weight right on the tailbone too.

massage: ummm.. I don't really want to pay someone to rub my butt, that's odd.

physical therapy: not so much for right now but the doctor said I should build a relationship with them now because more then likely I am going to need them after labor because labor is going to send my butt into pain overdrive.

Which leads to my biggest worry about my butt: labor. It's not uncommon that during labor that a woman's tailbone can be broken. Oh, great..

My head is literally spinning over this. I am in this odd state of pain panic. You really have no idea how much you use your butt during the day and now I am told that recovery after childbirth may take up to 6 months to a year (that's what the doc said)!!! The first months of a babies life is propped up against it's sitting mom breastfeeding. And now I am told that not only is breastfeeding difficult for some but now I may have this pain while trying to overcome that?!?!

I understand that the pain after labor is all speculative at this point. Who knows what will happen. But right now, I am in pain. I don't see how delivery isn't going to make that worse. So what do I do? No one has answers.

This is a huge pity party post, I know. But this has over taken my thoughts. I have an appointment with a chiropractor in a couple of hours and I left a message for one of the nurses at my doctors office to call me back today. In the mean time I will be holding a pity party in my living room, standing room only... no sitting at my party!