Thursday, October 28, 2010

The "C" Word

So last night hubby came with me to my doctors appointment to talk about our birth plan. It's been the topic of discussion with my doctor for about 3 weeks now that a c-section might be the route we have to take. The reason it was first brought up was because of my tail bone and scar tissue. That there is a possibility that the scar tissue won't allow the hips and pelvis to move enough for the baby to pass. That is the main cause of the pain I am experiencing now. My body is trying desperately to shift in that area but the scar tissue is not allowing it, a constant friction. So, the doctor said the ball was in my court for the c-section. She would allow me to attempt a regular delivery but wanted me to be aware that if I did that she couldn't guarantee what type of recovery I would need. The baby could get past all that tissue and then re-break the tailbone again. Oh yay!

Well, that was her position before the ultrasound results. Now she is 100% on board for the c-section. And I have to say I am too. This baby's head is already measuring at a full term baby head and if I were to wait to my due date it would give this baby 3 more weeks of growth.(and that's if the baby is on time, most first time moms go over their due date) So you take into account my hip and tailbone issue and a very large baby you have a recipe for some damage.

Being the husband hubby is he had all the right questions and concerns to ask my doctor yesterday. There is no question that a c-section is major surgery and hubby wasn't going to jump on the train unless he knew I would be in safe hands. Ya, he is sweet that way. He drilled the doctor on how many c-sections she has performed, recovery, blood loss, baby safety.. all those questions I forget as soon as my mind starts to wonder. We signed the papers and have a date...

This baby will be born, unless he/she wants to make an earlier appearance

November 15 @ 11am !!

Odd to know the exact date and time your baby will be born. But sure does making planing easy. Got both the Grandma's flights and schedules arranged so hubby and I will have them here for the big day. And to also help out with our first born, Darwin the Wonder Dog.

So now that I have shared this development I am going to share my feelings about how this news has been received.

I know that having a c-section isn't the best option for delivering babies. And our choice to go this way was never taken lightly. We had to weigh out all the recovery options and all the risks. And I also take into account that when I share this with people they aren't doctors and they don't have access to my medical records.

I have found a lot of judgment from people when you tell them you are having a c-section. Their first question is 'why?' or they give you a face. And you know what I mean when I say, they give you a face. It's as if their face had hands and if possible that face would slap you. Or their voice changes...the slightest way that lets you know they don't approve. I know that a lot of the judgment I feel from others is my own feelings projected on to them and back to me. I am wise enough to know that I am my own worse judge. But at the same time I wish people wouldn't be so critical.

Or the fact I am having a large baby... like it's my fault or being a big baby is a bad thing. Apparently when you say you are having a large baby it sends images of me sitting on the couch eating bon-bons and icecream 24/7. I almost feel the need to get out a scale and show that my weight gain is in the healthy area and then pull out mine and hubby's birth certificate and show our large birth weight. Or I am quick to pull out that hubby and I are tall. Not NBA tall but a little over average tall. If this baby turns out to be a girl, it's like people are already projecting weight issues on her before she even knows how to breast feed!

I then like to remind people that a nice large baby is a healthy baby. They sleep better and are all around in a better mood. That's been my experience with larger babies. The words jolly and fat go together for a reason.

You may be wondering who are these wacka-do people judging poor pregnant me. OTHER PREGNANT LADIES! I have joined this pregnant meet up group and I go to dinner events, walks, pot lucks with them. So far I have really enjoyed this group, I have even met 3 chicks I really dig and can see having a lasting friendship with and we are all due around the same time. But, at some of these events you get people that rub you the wrong way. Sometimes I am shocked at how judgmental women can be to each other. I know I am guilty of it...I take ownership of that. But I wouldn't let any of these women feel inferior for not having the same birth plan as me. I want to say 'back can take your new aged, hypno-birthing, bathtub birth planning, no screaming or drugs birth and shove it' .. but I don't cause I am nice and say that behind their backs. =)

A line from Steel Magnolias "if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit next to me"

So, here's to November 15.. I've googled the date, nothing bad happened on this day in history.. the weather looks normal for Seattle and I like the birth stone.

birth stone is citrine
birth flower is the chrysanthemum
And here is a link to November 15 in history

1 comment:

  1. Melissa, I've been following your blog since your mom told us you were going to the Czech Republic. I have to say I've laughed and cried and over-all enjoyed everything you've written.
    I am so excited for you and Derek!
    On the note of the c-section...I've had children both ways and can tell you, everything went smoothy each time. You know what works best for you and your body and your baby and to heck with those people who choose to judge without know you or your circumstance.
    Good luck! I wish you and your family the best!
    Tina Jones - Boise