Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Wanted: A nanny for me.

I swear, I need a nanny. Not for the baby, for me. Maybe my Mom can just come to Seattle now and take care of me before the baby. Or maybe even my sister.

First off, why can't I sleep anymore? I am tired when I go to bed. I don't take naps during the day and I don't drink any caffeine after 12pm. Yet, I just lay in bed tossing and turning. Sunday night I got two hours of sleep!! 5am to 7am! I was like a walking zombie. This is where the nanny would come into play. The nanny would take care of Darwin, make me lunch and make me take a nap. The nanny would also drive me to my appointments so I don't do stupid things on the way there. Case in point:

If I had a nanny. I wouldn't of put my cell phone on top of the car when I was getting Darwin into it! Yes, I drove off with my brand new phone on top of the car. And because hubby is this huge tech lover we have the latest and greatest phones. You know with all the flashy screens and it basically does everything expect make it easy to make calls. Down the road I go and I don't notice I have left it there tell I am half way down the freeway! When I found the poor phone it looked like maybe 20 or so cars had driven over it... not good. Thank goodness hubby knows who he is married to and put insurance on my phone. So I get a new one today, but still, no sleep means no smart moves.

If I had a nanny, I wouldn't dress like such a mess. When I was a nanny I would dress the little girls in the cutest outfits, do their hair all pretty. I need my nanny to pick out the maternity clothes that still fit ( yes, I am at the stage where some of the tops are working overtime and need to be retired at this point ) and then the nanny would brush my hair and remind me that I had errands to run and doing those errands required nice hair and clothes that couldn't substitute as PJs.

If I had a nanny, I would eat better. When hubby isn't here to monitor my eating habits I sometimes stray off course. Especially in these last weeks. I don't know who this baby is but it LOVES sugar. I need a nanny to tell me that if I eat a doughnut for breakfast I can't have another one at lunch. The nanny would prepare me a nice meal with those crazy things called vegetables in it and I would have to eat it or I would get in trouble. Then after lunch I would be sent to my room for nap time, no questions asked.

So until my Mom or sister gets here I am taking applications for nannies.

Below is what I am looking for:

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