Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Still waiting...

I have had several emails asking whats the scoop. I had another ultrasound last week and it seems the hyper stimulation is still having it's ugly way with me. I've been put back on limited activity. The pain has gone away so it feels like I should be up and around and all that jazz so I am finding being lazy hard to do. Thankfully my hubby makes sure I don't over do it and keeps me on the couch while he preps dinner and helps out around the house. So lucky to have him.

As far as the $64,000 question... trying to be cautious about how much information we give out. I will say that things are looking good. We hope to give more clear answers in a couple of weeks. We are still waiting out the hyper stimulation and hoping that goes down and when it does we are sure we will have more concrete answers from the doctors.

It's hard to wait for answers but some things are worth waiting for...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Free at last, free at last!

I have been released from prison. The prison of bed rest. I am not 100% but getting closer every day. Today I was able to take Darwin to the dog park and also picked up a few items at the grocery store. I know that doesn't seem like much but after a week of staying in your bed those events seemed HUGE. It also took a lot of energy to do just those two errands. I still feel a dull pain on my left side that seems to flare up every once in awhile. The medication I am on, progesterone, still makes me very sleepy. I pass out around 8pm and then the pain usually has a flare up around 4am so I have been getting up that ungodly hour for the past week and half.

But I won't let those early hours get me down, I am FREE from my bed..Free at last!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bed-rest has made me hate my bed.

Lets just start this blog out by saying bed-rest stinks! You would think being forced to lay down all day would be a blessing. You would be wrong, it is a punishment. There is a huge difference between being lazy and being held hostage by your bed. The only good thing about being confined to bed is you get to feel a lot of love and support from your loved ones.

The hubby has been amazing. Cooking every meal, vacuuming and basically canceling all his fun plans for the past 4 days. Poor guy had to miss his golf game, half day team building with his office at the bowling ally (he didn't seem too upset about missing that one) and then gave up snowboarding on fresh spring powder this Sunday. All just to be around the house in case I needed him. He is really making those 'for better or for worse' vows come to life. He really has been my Mr. Wonderful all weekend.

My Mom, sister and Dad have all had their cell phones close at hand and have accepted the 8 calls a day. They also sent over the most beautiful bouquet of daisies that sit on my mantel. My in-laws have also called to check in a lot, which is comforting to know how much they think of us.

The hubby has an great co-worker/friend that I adore. We join him and his wife for drinks every once in awhile and have the best time. Well, they surprised us this afternoon by bringing over the world's best meal. Not just one meal but also homemade chicken soup, cornbread and banana bread! How fantastic is that!?!

There has been one set back that I can't seem to make positive, my poor dog Darwin. I walk him everyday and on the weekends we also take him to a dog park or the beach. He just looks at me like I am the evil stepmother who won't let him play outside. It was okay this weekend since hubby was home and could walk him but come Monday around 11am he is going to be looking at me with those big brown eyes asking for a walk. Ohh, this is punishment!

So when you have watched everything on DVR, and netflicks, read all your books and magazines, what do you do?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Hyper what?

So I haven't been blogging much during the last two weeks. One reason was adjusting back to the time change, I have been way to sleepy to write. The other reason is because I have been on strict bed rest that past week. Total bummer and I will tell you how this bed rest started:

On the flight back home I started to get some very minor cramps. Totally freaked me out but I had my Mom with me and just having her hold my hand made me feel a lot better. I also started to get some other symptoms that are very common with the medication I am taking and very common after putting your body through an IVF cycle. So I didn't worry to much about them. I talked to my coordinator and all the things I was talking about like being bloated, fatigue and minor cramping were all normal. Well, normal took a turn off the path about 4 days ago. I woke up with most painful feeling in my lower abdomen. It was like a cramp but a cramp has more of a twisty feel (if that makes sense) this pain was like a giant dull knife was stabbing me in the ovaries. The pain lasted about a half an hour and then stopped. In the morning I told my hubby and showed him that tummy had basically expanded overnight. And then right when we were walking down the stairs to start the day it started again. It's a crippling pain and I just had to ride it out right there on the stairs. We both decided that this wasn't normal and called my OB/GYN nurse and she basically told us that we needed to head to the ER. Oh, great!

I get to the ER and have to explain about 15 times that I had IVF done in Europe and I was experiencing severe cramping. It's amazing to me how little some nurses and doctors know about IVF. Some didn't even really know the abbreviation. You would have to say in-vitro before the light bulb would go off. Then you would have to explain the process. Hubby thinks this is because IVF is an elective procedure but I still find it odd.

As I am checking into the ER the administrating nurse begins to tell me her fertility struggle. How she was told she was infertile in the 70s and how there was nothing to be done back than. Then she told me how she accepted her fate as being a childless woman and went on with her life. So at this point in the story I am starting to get a little mad at her, like she is telling me to accept my fate kind of thing but then she drops this bombs on me. She told me she finally just relaxed and now two kids later she's over the moon happy. She literally told me to just relax and nature will take its course. Here I am in the ER getting checked in for complications due to IVF and she is telling me to just relax and it will happen naturally. OMG, I almost lost it. I understand people's good intentions when telling about their struggles and how they over came them but when someone is having IVF done there is no amount of relaxing they can do to get pregnant. IVF wasn't some choice made because we weren't getting pregnant in the time frame we wanted, it was because I have bad tubes!! I can relax the rest of my life and my tubes will remain the same lady! And you better believe I told her that.

So after that fun encounter I get put into a room but not just any room I get put into the psychiatric room where they put crazy people. The ER was out of beds at the moment and that was the only option for me. It was a bed and nothing else in the room, no sharp edges or windows. And the door locked when they closed it...so awful yet so fitting at the same time. After 45 minutes of 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' they were able to get me a room.

One full body ultrasound and 8 pokes later looking for blood (damn my bad veins) they have figured out what is wrong with me. I have fluid leaking into my abdomen and around my kidneys and my ovaries are about the size of grapefruits. The fluid is leaking from my giant ovaries and the reason they are doing that is because they have a condition called Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. Yippee!! Basically about 10% of women who have IVF can get this condition. Since my condition is in the moderate range there is nothing to be done except wait it out. If it was a little more severe they would take a large needle and extract the fluid out. They basically put me on bed rest and told me to see my OB/GYN on Friday for a follow up blood work.

So I was doing the bed rest thing to best of my ability. I did cook dinner and do a load of laundry but both things took me all day so I figured that was okay. Thursday night I lay down to go to sleep and I hear a lot of wheezing in my breath and could also hear crackly in my lungs. I knew that the liquid had spread to my lungs and should probably tell the nurses that in the morning when I am giving my follow up blood.

Friday morning I get my blood work done and then ask to see a nurse about my lungs. I tell the nurse the situation and she gets this real panic look on her face. She basically told me to go across the street and check myself back into the ER. Oh great! I call the hubby crying and then call my Mom crying. The nurse basically told me I was at a high risk for a blood clot and there were no second chances with a blood clot. The hubby meets me in the ER in seconds flat, thank goodness his office is only a block away. I get checked back into the ER and the tests start again. First with a chest x-ray, blood work and then an ultrasound of the blood vessels in my legs. I must say the ultrasound of the legs was very interesting. The doctor was able to do all the tests he wanted except one. The hubby and I agreed not to the one that had an extreme amount of radiation involved because if we are pregnant it would end up terminating that pregnancy. After the 3 test the doctor thought my risk was low and the fluid in my lungs was minor enough to just be monitored and that my bed rest needed to be a little more extreme. So, I am basically confined to my bed. I can walk to the bathroom and the couch. It's only been a day of this extreme bed rest and I am going crazy! I have to remember when the crippling pain comes and overwhelming boredom sets in it will all be worth it in the end. So for the next week you can find me here, master bedroom, king sized bed grumpy lady in the middle.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Waiting Room

Who would of thought that daily injections would be easier then the two week wait to get your blood work? I could inject myself all day if it meant I didn't have to wait another week to find out the results. Every tingle, cramp, mood swing has me googling. Googling questions like "is this normal" "IVF and cramping" only to get a mixed review of ladies telling their stories. One would say 'that's a good sign' then the next 'that happened to me and I got a negative result'. It truly is enough to drive you crazy.

I did read something that gave me a little comfort. A woman wrote about the two week wait saying 'you are pregnant until proven otherwise'. This brought the positive thoughts back to me. She's right, everything is going great.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

There's No Place Like Home

Dorothy was right, there really is no place like home. My own bed, my dog, my couch, my local hamburger joint. And most importantly the hubby. After the 10 hour flight from Paris to Seattle I could barely form sentences. My wonderful Mom didn't take her long flight remedy of Ambien since I can't take anything and stayed up with me for the whole flight. I did get to watch 3 movies which I had not seen and are up for Oscars this Sunday so I was thrilled about that. But after hour 7 I felt like I was going mad. Stared to get a headache and of course I can't take anything to help it.. it was miserable!!! By the time the plane landed in Seattle I looked just like I felt. Hair was sticking up everywhere, make up all smudged off, left eye starting to get lazy.. just all around attractiveness. I now know why celebrities wear over sized sunglasses in the airport, because they look like crap without them!
When we got back to my house things didn't improve much for my mood or beauty. Mom being the superwoman she is looked unfazed and poised. She answered emails and took calls about her move to Florida while I laid on the couch trying to regain some since of "normal". Hubby came home and saw the need for food and walked to the local hamburger joint and got us food. Giving Mom just enough time to eat and head back to the airport for her 7pm flight to Boise. She really is an amazing woman, able to juggle so many things at once. And each person she is talking to she makes feel like they are the only thing on her mind. She can make an anxiousness flier calm by just a touch on the arm, or fears of the unknown okay with just the running of her fingers threw the hair. She can make a joke just at the right moment and accept when sometimes all you need is silence. She is my best friend but most importantly she is my Mom. It was so special to have her with me for part of the journey.

Right when Mom left for the airport I walked to my bedroom brushed my teeth and headed to bed at 5pm! I don't even remember hubby turning off the lights. I awoke at 2am and have been up ever since. Oh, this is going to be a long weekend trying to get my sleep pattern right.. but at least I am home.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

From Paris with love.

Hello Paris, I missed you.

Paris fits like an old glove. You start to remember how wonderful the food really is, how beautiful everything seems to be and how easily it would be to fall in love with a city.

We got to the hotel in the evening. We (I mean Mom) dropped off the bags in the room and off to dinner we went. Our hotel is surrounded by restaurants it was hard to pick one. We asked our front desk clerk but he just moved to Paris from London and was no help. So we just walked into one. We were ushered over to a small table by the window. Mom and I agreed it would be very romantic is you were with your spouse. We order a 3 course meal, when in Paris eat, that's what I say! First, French onion soup. Oh those French can make onion soup! Second, I had duck. Traditional French cooked duck. It was last supper good. Mom had this amazing piece of steak with the most decadent bearnaise sauce. Dessert, portfolios. It came out in a huge soup bowl, 3 portfolios with huge scoops of homemade icecream in each one then on the side hot chocolate sauce! We needed wheelchairs to get home, we were stuffed. Happy but stuffed. Sleep came very easy for us, full bellies and dreams of our day in Paris.

We arose early and got dressed. Since I don't want to raise my heart rate we took the subway everywhere today. Mom and I are so good at the subway. Super proud of our skills, it all about teamwork. We started out at Norte Dame and to then Eiffel Tower. We sat for awhile at cafe near the Eiffel Tower and just soaked in the sun. It was fabulous! From there we headed to the Arc De Triomphe. We walked down a couple blocks of the Champs Elysees. Stopped again at cafe and had lunch. Went to the Galleria and headed back to the hotel.

Didn't sight see like crazy. Just keeping a slow pace and since both Mom and I have been here before just hanging out at cafes is perfectly fine with us.

Now, what to eat for dinner??

Leaving for home in the morning. Looking forward to seeing hubby and dog. Miss them both and miss our routine. I miss the cold nose of the dog waking me at 7am for his morning pee trip and smell of hubby's cologne in the morning.

Goodbye Czech

We left the Czech Republic on Wednesday afternoon, with a little drama. There is always some type of drama with the girls in my family so it was only fitting that our trip had some. It went down like this:
We had a nice relaxing morning in Prague. Mom had a bath and I laid in bed for hours watching German MTV. Yes, the only English on the TV in the Czech Republic was the German MTV. It was all English with German subtitles. So odd. I watched the top music videos in Germany for 2009, those Germans have an odd taste for cheesy pop.
Since our flight was at 3 we just had a causal afternoon walking around the monastery which is the backyard of the hotel. After about 30 min of that we got cold and headed back to the hotel and sat in the sun room. We lost track of time and the next thing we knew the front desk staff was searching for us. Our prearranged car had arrived to take us to the airport. Frantically we head back to the room and get our bags. Poor Mom is doing all the leg work with the bags since I can't carry anything heavy. So hard to just stand there as she works with the luggage. So, after getting all our bags we get into the car and off to the airport we went. The airport was really nice and clean. We get past security and decided to have some lunch. At the sandwich shop we spot bacon flavored chips! We had seen commercials for this odd chip in Brno and now was our chance to try it. BAD IDEA! Smelled and tasted like dog food. But this bag of chips is what brought the drama. We wanted to take a picture of them, I mean its not everyday you eat bacon chips. Well Mom searched her bag, looked up and said she couldn't find her camera! We searched everything, panic sets it. She realizes she left it in the sun room at the hotel. Oh goodness! Many attempts to contact the hotel with the few coins we had left we finally got a hold of them. The camera was there. The thoughts of lost memories faded but then the realization that we were headed to Paris without a camera. Mine was broken so we had nothing to fall back on! This is where ideas are hatched, desperation. We ended up having the hotel put the camera in a taxi and having the taxi driver come to the airport. Genius! We got our camera, got to the plane with plenty of time and headed to Paris. *sigh of relief*

Goodbye Czech, you were good to me. I hope the next time I see you it is for pleasure only.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Mom and Prague, a very good combo.

So back in Prague, this time with Mom. And this time to head home. We got here around noon and took a cab to our amazing hotel. One of the many perks of having a travel agent mother is her great connections to amazing hotels at amazing prices. We are staying at the Crowne Plaza at the Prague Castle. Best location for me since we are on top of the hill and can easily walk down without any physical excursion to all the major sites. And when we were done we just took a cab back to the top. I am trying to stay very mellow for the next couple of weeks. No lifting of heavy objects, no walking up long flights of stairs, just trying to keep my heart rate normal and attitude positive. Staying positive in Prague is so easy for me to do. I love this city, this may be my favorite European city. Everywhere you turn there is something unique to look at. The buildings, churches and food are so different and wonderful. Plus the exchange rate is very nice! It reminds me of Paris without the pretentiousness.
I took Mom across the Charles Bridge and into old town. There were a lot of highschool tour groups from Italy around this afternoon, which made Mom and I laugh at some of the outfits. It was freezing today, and the highschool girls were in skirts and tights with knee high boots...so silly! Oh to look good at 16 is very important, so much more important then body temperature.
My favorite part of the day was going to the top of the astronomical clock in old town. We learned they had an elevator to the top so up we went. I am huge baby when it comes to heights so it freaked me out. We got some great pictures but I can't show them on the blog yet until Mom gets home, darn broken camera! Here's a picture from the internet of the clock. We were at the top!

Something out of Disney!
After our walk around old town back to the hotel we went. Our hotel is next to a monastery which has a restaurant attached. The lady at the front deck of the hotel said the monks made the food but I think she was pulling our legs because the guys serving us didn't look like monks but then again we saw a nun on the train today with a cell phone and travel backpack on. The times they are a changing.
Off to an early bed time. I am taking medicine three times a day that is helping my body accept the embryos. Almost like tricking your body to thinking it was already pregnant. Well, the side affects are symptoms of early pregnancy. I am so sleepy!! I need naps during the day! Mom has her ambien and I have my baby pills and together it's a musical symphony of snoring.
Hopefully we will have an internet connection in our Paris hotel so I can blog tomorrow. To get ready for Paris, Mom and I watched French Kiss. Great movie with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline. My Mom, sister and I quote this movie ALL the time.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Dr. McDreamy

There have been requests for a picture of McDreamy. I was to chicken to let Mom take my picture with him on Sunday so we found a picture of him on the internet. It's not the best picture and doesn't really capture his sweetness.
Best doctor EVER!

The big day!! Transfer Day!!

So we woke up early and got ready for the big day, TRANSFER DAY! How do dress for being implanted with your babies? Formal wear, it's a big deal, you want the kids to know how serious this is. Casual wear, you want your kids to know your a casual kinda girl. I decided for sweats, since I was just heading to bed right afterward. I think the kids will understand, their mom is practical. So after practical wear was decided off we went.

Dr. McDreamy was there and was ready to start. He showed us a report of the embryos, almost like a report card. My embryos were A+ students, gold stars for them! He was very happy with their progress and was very optimistic about the procedure and the implantation. So we were taken into the operation room, Mom got to come too. There was a TV in the room and we got to see the embryos. It was truly amazing. There they were, everything that we have been trying so hard to get. On that TV screen was a part or me and a part of my husband. If I wasn't so uncomfortable on that table I would of cried more. After the transfer we got to see the embryos again via ultrasound. It was so amazing, the little things on the screen were now inside, in their little home. We put in two embryos, don't worry I don't want a reality show. The doctor was so funny during the transfer he said "okay, I put in one blue one and pink one" of course he was joking you can't tell the gender at a day 3 transfer. I also said "oh that hurts" and then he would say "it doesn't hurt me". Most Europeans say my name without the A sound at the beginning. They really over pronounce the E. ME-lissa. So the doctor would say "Relax, MEEE-lissa" Always makes me laugh.

So after the transfer we went back to the apartment and had a day of bed rest. We got a little stir crazy laying there all day but we managed, it was for a good cause! We will take it easy today and tomorrow. Trying not to disturb the little ones as they are trying to attach. There are a lot of rules after the transfer. No heavy lifting, no bath tubs, no aerobatic exercise. They want you to wait tell after you hear a heart beat before you start living "normally" again.

Gee no vacuuming or heavy lifting for 2 months, I can handle that! Kids and only light housekeeping, my vacation just keeps getting better and better!