Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What not to say to me!

This blog is WAY overdue. I need to get something off my pregnant chest:


And when I say "nice" I mean using certain adjectives that describes her body in a way that makes her happy. Let break this down..

These are things that have been to said to me in the past few months:

* "Wow, your huge!" No sh*t Sherlock, I'm pregnant!

* "I'm so happy I got to see you fat." Yes, someone said this to me.

* "Everyone thought you looked so much farther along then 7 months." Fantastic, because I didn't feel like the giant baboon at the party now it's confirmed by people I don't even know.

* "How much weight have you put on?" Less weight then you put on and your not even pregnant.

* "Are you having twins?" read past blogs for that response.

* "Are you really going to eat that?" Are you really going to question my eating habits when you just ate your weight in frozen pizza?

* "Why are you so tired?" Oh, I don't know, maybe because there is a small human inside my body sucking the life force out of me.

* "Let me tell you about how painful my labor was." Yes, please tell me how painful it was, and how you did it without medication. Scare the living crap out of me months before it's my turn, great idea!

* "Enjoy your life now, because it's all over once the baby gets here." Oh this one drives me crazy. Life as I know it is going to be different, but it's exactly what I want. If I have the baby and my life is same I will want a refund.

* "It seems like you have been pregnant forever!" For you it may seem like forever, try being the one carrying the baby, it feels like eternity! Back off, it takes almost a year to cook the bun in the oven.

* "Wow, your boobs are enormous! Your husband must be happy" Yes I have a Pam Anderson chest, that has been wrapped up and out of order since March. My husband is super happy I wear a maternity bra to bed every night and complain about how sore they are. He's thrilled!

* Do you have stretch marks yet? No, but thank you for bringing up the fact my skin is expanding at a rate it's not use to therefor going to put large purple battle scars around the base of my belly. Fantastic thing to remind me of.

* Is this the pregnancy hormones talking? Would you rather my fists do the talking? Seriously, just because I am not smiling and maybe having a issue does not mean it's a direct link to the pregnancy. Being angry or frustrated about life isn't because of the baby but because sometimes life is hard!

* "Well, you wanted this" Argh! Yes I want a baby, I didn't want cankles, stretch marks, acne, leg cramps and saggy boobs. HUGE DIFFERENCE!

Here's what you say to a pregnant woman, even if it's a lie.

You look stunning.
Wow, your beautiful.
You should be a pregnancy model.
You make pregnancy look easy.
Wow, you look great!
This baby is so lucky to have you as it's Mom

Bring pregnant is a marathon. A pregnant lady needs a cheering section because the last few miles/months can see like eternity. Give her encouragement, tell her she's beautiful, and most of all tell her you love her.

Remember if you say something mean to us pregnant ladies we can bite back and blame the "hormones" !!!!

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