Saturday, November 6, 2010

9 months and acting like a baby.

Being 9 months pregnant is just boot camp for having a child around. I think it's some sort of sick initiation into motherhood. Instead of making your last month before being a mom a peaceful, restful and relaxing time your body betrays you and makes it impossible to do anything with some sort of extreme effort or discomfort. Case in point:

Yesterday I needed to run some errands. See post below for my shopping list. I also had lunch out in public and took the dog to the dog park. Busy day for a 9 month pregnant woman.. and hour errand for any normal lady. Being 9 months pregnant is like having a baby already.

- No one looks at you when your 9 months pregnant...well, they look at you, the part of you that is the size of watermelon. There is no more eye contact, eyes go straight to the belly. Your either the cautionary whale to teenagers, the pity look from women or the look of amazement from men. And when you are with your baby, no one looks at you anymore.. eyes straight to the baby.

- When out and about and 9 months pregnant just like with a child you need to know where ALL the restrooms are in the store you are at. Because at any moment the baby is going to kick you in the bladder and all you have is seconds to find a bathroom. Or with a child learning to potty train, again you have seconds to get that kid on the potty.

- Errands involving either a pregnant lady or baby wraps around their feeding schedule. A pregnant lady needs to graze and when the urge comes to eat you must feed that beast immediately. Just like a baby, feeding is top priority.

- Good luck walking a normal or relatively fast pace. The waddle is an art form. Two legs about 5 feet apart trying to balance a very large belly and swollen woman. If you look at a 9 month pregnant woman waddling it looks very similar to a one year old baby learning to walk. Both unsure if walking is necessary and both needing to hold things for balance.

- But before you ever make it out of the house you need to have a good nights sleep or nap. Have you ever taken a baby or toddler out during nap time or after a bad night? Not a good idea. Have you ever been around a 9 month pregnant woman who gets only about 3 - 4 hours of sleep due to discomfort, again bad idea.

So when you get back in your car after running errands you realize you have only done 2 out of the 6 things on your list. Your exhausted, moody and hungry. You think to yourself was it even worth getting in your car in the first place to attempt errands. Just like with a baby, is it even worth the hassle of trying to take him/her anywhere but the living room?

To help finish my list today, I am taking hubby with me. He doesn't know it yet but I sure he will be more then happy to drag me around the mall trying to find the perfect lounge pants for my future c-section belly. Just like with having a baby, you tend to do better with a partner. 9 months pregnant, it takes team work. I mean come on, it's not like he is an innocent in take two to tango and this baby is half his. =)

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