Every year the hubby makes his way to California to go camping in the middle of desert with his fraternity brothers. This tradition is over 20 years old and the hubby LOVES it. I don't see the appeal of camping in the desert.. extreme heat, smelly men, bad food and no shower. I however see the appeal of men being men and being able to connect once a year. This event is one of the reasons I love hubby so much. I love hubby's loyalty. He has kept 5 core friends from college and no matter the issue he is ALWAYS there for him. He usually only gets to see them once a year at this camping trip and yet the brotherhood between them is so strong they act like no time has ever passed. I adore this trip for him.
Before he left on his trip his buddies at the office were giving him grief. Saying that this would be the last trip he would be "allowed" to go on. After the baby is born he won't be able to go on the camping trip, they said the wife wouldn't let him go. Hubby came home relaying this message to me. We both laughed because it's so obvious that no one at his office really understands us.
I believe it's completely healthy and necessary for the hubby and I to have independence. It's one of the main attractions we have towards each other. To use words like "allow" makes marriage sound so suffocating and unpleasant to me.
Being able to spend time away from your core family and be with friends is so refreshing. It rebuilds you and reminds you of yourself. I am not saying the hubby and I are taking month long vacations away from each other. But camping trips with fraternity brothers and weekends to visit my girlfriends is a necessity to me.
I also take into account I have no idea what it's going to feel like to be a Mom. I know that it's not so cut and dry once you add a baby into the mix. But looking back on my childhood, I enjoyed when my parents dropped me off at the grandparents for the weekend or spending months in the summer with them. Having time spent away from my parents was exciting and I felt independent. I want my child to have that same feeling.
I know tonight when Darwin and I pick up hubby at the airport Darwin will squeal with delight and I will get a huge kiss and hug. Hubby will have two days worth of stories to tell and I will listening excitingly.
Plus, if you never leave how can you miss what you have?