Saturday, May 1, 2010

'A dream is a wish your heart makes'

It's been so hard not to blog the past month and a half. The hubby and I wanted to keep this private until we knew for sure. We tried to think of it like we were a 'normal' couple who wouldn't make an announcement until after a certain point. But since we told the world we were doing IVF we weren't a normal couple...well we are at a certain point now.

So let the joyful news be spread, Melissa is at last PREGNANT!

So here's whats been happening over the past two months:

About a week after we got home from Prague I was getting really antsy to take a home pregnancy test. The clinic and doctors really advise not doing this because you could still have some left over hormones from the IVF medication that could trigger a false positive. They prefer you to wait to day 14 and get a blood test. Well, I researched online and found that the last shot leaves your body 10 days after you take it. I was at day 12. Needless to say I took the test. I am a pro at taking home pregnancy tests. In fact I should of bought stock in these tests with how much I was spending on them each month. I am also a pro at receiving negative news from them. I took the test.. waited... and as if time stood still, two lines. I ran down stairs searching for hubby, pants still half way down my legs. I could barely get the words out of my mouth 'I'm pregnant' and as soon as I said it, as soon as he walked over and hugged me.. the ugly cry happened. The cry that is not pretty, not movie worthy or picture ready. The cry that makes your face curl up and your nose run and the hands start to wave around. I cried. I cried, and I cried. It felt like a giant piece of weight left my body and for the first time in almost two years I was about to take a breath. And when I took my first breath of relief, I smiled. Two years melted away like they never happened. All the pain and frustration all the tears and pain just evaporated from my memory.

I had always knew in my heart that the day would come and I would get a positive test. I never lost hope, I never stopped daydreaming about what that moment would feel like, and as is everything in life. No matter how good the daydreams are or how real the fantasy seems to be it never compares to the real thing. I could live in that moment for the rest of my life. The moment when everything you ever wanted, came true.

As the past blog shows I got very sick with hyper stimulation about 3 days after my positive home pregnancy test. Basically my ovaries were having such a good time growing they just didn't want to stop. As they got bigger and bigger they started leaking and putting a lot of fluid in my abdomen, kidneys and lungs. This made for a lot of tears and and the overwhelming feeling like someone was stabbing my stomach with a knife. But, the good news was that hyper stimulation is caused by pregnancy, so it was a double edge sword. Good news your pregnant, bad news your body really enjoys the hormones and wants to keep making eggs.

My first ultrasound in the ER didn't show any sign of a pregnancy. Which was okay, it was still WAY to soon to see anything. But the blood work came back positive and a few days later my blood work had doubled which meant we were on the right track.

I was monitored a lot because the doctors were very concerned about blood clots and all the fluid in my lungs. So I got to have another ultrasound about two weeks later and with that ultrasound we saw a sac start to form and the start of a fetal pole! That's when the hubby and I started to get very excited. Plus with the hyper stimulation starting to get better I started to really feel early pregnancy symptoms. Bring on the morning sickness and food aversion.

Yesterday we had another ultrasound. To see if the hyper stimulation was gone for good. And it was! The hubby was there holding my hand, and on the screen we saw our baby. Like a little Mexican jumping bean, dancing all over. The lil one even moved an arm and waved like he/she was saying "hey parents, it me, your kid" You stare at the monitor and are overwhelmed with emotion, the tears flow down and all you want to do is freeze this moment in time. And when the doctor put the sound on and we heard the heart beat, no music has ever sounded so sweet.

We are at 11 weeks and two days. Due date is November 22. A Thanksgiving baby, so fitting if you ask me.

1 comment:

  1. I totally cried while reading this. I am so happy for you guys. What a wonderful, sweet, blessing. Thank you for sharing your journey Melissa. Lots of Love! - Jordan