So today I ended up watching Teen Mom on MTV while I was eating my lunch. The show pisses me off to no end, not because they are teen moms and I am not an adult mom but because the girls are so DUMB! Except for one girl, Catelynn. Catelynn was 16 when she got pregnant and made the brave choice to give her baby up for adoption. Her story is so heart braking. She didn't get any support from her parents and they continue even after the adoption to question her decision. I am amazed at how she rises above the ashes like a phoenix and she moves on with her life the best she can. In the episode I just watched she seems to be getting into a deep depression over her decision and desire to have contact with her baby. Her adoption agency made available a weekend retreat with other birth moms. After watching Catelynn have numerous a-ha moments through out the weekend it made me come up with one too. Catelynn said that after that weekend she felt bonded with the other girls. That she now knows that when she was on that table giving birth and when she gave her baby up she wasn't alone. That all the birth moms were there with her too. I started to cry and as the tears came down I knew she was right. It was a light bulb moment. Every time I laid on that table and was pinched and poked and every time I shot myself up with drugs I wasn't the only one doing that same thing. I wasn't alone. I don't feel Catelynn's story and my story are that different. The same way women who have had babies, women who have lost babies and women who can't have them but desire them are all the same. Motherhood is the link. A link between women. I need to remember that in the future. I am not alone, we are all connected in this.
I found the youtube video of the adoption...
Oh man that video was a tear jerker. I think another thing that seems to bind us all is loss. It is so strange but I find myself feeling much more compassion and empathy for Catelyn's loss, because I have felt my own. I would actually say it is one of the best things that has come to me as a result of this craphole that is infertility. And your reflections about reaching the end of your prenatal vitamins, and all the emotional significance that carries rang so true to me. Thanks for sharing, it means so much to not feel alone.
ReplyDelete