This time last year...

I was struck by a thought a couple of days ago while on a walk with hubby, Jules & Darwin. This time last year we were in the Czech Republic! I went back to old blog posts and reread them. Wow, I can't believe it's been a year...it seems like a lifetime away. This exact date last year hubby and I were wondering around a small town in the middle of Europe. I was in full needle and shot mode and about to have my retrieval.

My mind is somewhat blown by this. It takes me right back to that time and its hard to process it all. I am so grateful we had that experience and were able to find a company that could help us. It was the best decision/google search I ever did!

Here's us last year toasting the IVF process in Brno, Czech Republic!


Nine months later:


What a difference a year makes.

Martha Stewart Doesn't Live Here

My goal this week ( a very odd one at that ) cook all our meals this week using our crock pot!

Yes, crazy.. silly.. weird.

But if you came to my house between the hours of 5 and 7 pm you would see why I would attempt such a thing. First off, hubby comes home *the heavens open and the angels sing* Yes, daddy is home to take Juliette into his arms and leave mommy on the couch to catch her breath. Two minutes later the dog is going crazy wanting attention or a walk. Juliette starts to scream for her bottle and oh my goodness it's time to make dinner. It's a one - two punch of crazy.


Dinner?!?! Did someone say dinner? You mean it's time to learn how to juggle both wife and mother roles now? What would Mrs. Cleaver do? "Ward, call the Beaver in for dinner now"
Who names their kid Beaver anyway??

So I am planning four meals in my crock pot. It would be five but my dad is coming to visit us and he hates the crock pot so I will let him take me out to dinner. =)

I know what your thinking, the crock pot can only make roast beef....

WELL YOU ARE WRONG!

I found this blog about a woman who used her crock pot every day for a year. Pulled some recipes from there and off we go. I am looking forward to a stress free 5 to 7! Wish me luck, wish my husbands belly luck!


http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

The Shot Heard Around The World

I have witnessed and experienced the deepest level of misery EVER..a baby who is sick! And not just any baby, MY BABY! I can't remember anything being more upsetting then holding Jules the past two days when she is clearly miserable.

She had her first round of shots on Wednesday. Three shots and one liquid dose. I have been dreading this appointment since we took her home from the hospital. I made the appointment around hubby's lunch time because there was no way I was going to be the only one going to be put through parent hell. Plus I would need him there in case I had to leave the room. When I was younger my mom would take me to my sisters vaccination appointments and I would have to wait in the lobby because I was crying so hard. I hated the thought of someone giving my sister a shot and now I had to live through someone giving my little baby one! And not just one shot THREE shots! SOMEONE HAVE MERCY ON US! And just to add insult to injury, Jules and I were coming down with a very mild cold. So things were not looking up for us.

The well baby appointment went well. Jules is healthy, happy and growing just perfectly. In fact she is off the charts in height!! My little super model. The whole time our pediatrician is telling us all these glowing things about Jules all I could think about was... when does she pull out the needles? Again, thank goodness hubby was there to listen to the doctor because my mind was on something else!

What a smart doctor we have, she doesn't give the shots. She has the nurse do it. Why be the bad guy?!? So in walks the little Russian nurse to poke my little angel.

We had to stretch out Juliette on the bed and help hold down her legs. Yes, can you imagine this?!?! ITS PURE TORTURE! Why hasn't someone invented immunizations that can be given in a lolly pop?

Here we go... the moment of truth...

First shot clearly pisses off Juliette as she slowly realizes what just happened to her. Second shot, like a bullet to the heart she is unhappy. By the third and final shot Juliette's face gets the color of a red I have never seen before. Oh all things holy this girl is going to blow!!!!

And she did... the tears came, the scream.

Someone just shoot me now!

I grab her up into my arms and try my hardest not cry. Don't show her how much it pains me to see her in pain. Keep my energy happy and soothing. (that's what I am trying to do but I don't think that's how I came across) At this point I can't tell if she is still upset about the shots or the fact I am squeezing her to death.

She is calm now and able to be placed back into her car seat. I get her into the car. I am even able to run an errand to the grocery store. We get home we lay down on the couch together and take a nice long nap. Ahhhhh, peace.

And then we enter the twilight zone.

Ohhhhhh the fussiness was just so miserable. There was really nothing I could do to make it better. She got a low grade fever and just needed her mommy. Poor hubby came home to find her crying and me crying. I just couldn't stand that I couldn't sooth her.

This went on and off for two days.

We are fine now... and really Jules wasn't "that" bad but it was a new low for me. I just physically couldn't stand her being unhappy. It broke my heart. And this was just a low grade fever and cold.

And here's the big problem, she is only going to get more colds, more vaccinations as she grows. ARGH!

This parenthood business is tough! T O U G H!

My Valentine

I never really celebrated Valentines Day. Well, that's not true.. my mom ALWAYS celebrates and every February 14th I would wake up and find a Valentines gift from her. Usually a basket filled with sweets, maybe a cd and for some reason funny underwear & socks.

I guess I should say I never really celebrated Valentines day with someone other then my Mom. Kind of like St. Patrick's day...seems silly to venture out with all the people and try to force romance on the same day EVERYONE else is too. Hubby and I exchange cards, eat dinner at home and call each other Valentine, that's the extant of the day for us.

But now there is Jules in the picture. And it got me thinking, I am Jules Valentine just like my Mom was to me. I want to make Jules feels as special as I feel when my Mom celebrated me. Yes, she is only 12 weeks old but that doesn't mean we can't start our traditions now.

Juliette is the true definition love. She will be forever and always my Valentine. xoxo

Bedtime Routine!

*Don't worry she doesn't sleep with anything in her crib, I just had those in there while I was cleaning*





A new world has just opened up to me, it's 8pm and my daughter is in her crib, in her nursery... alone. Juliette has started a new bed time routine and I couldn't be more thrilled. (honestly, a little sad too, she's getting to be a big girl)

She starts to get super cranky around 7:15pm, that's where the routine kicks in. Every three days we start with bath. Unfortunately with her eczema issues she doesn't get nightly bathes, which is sad cause I love giving her a bath. But it's better for her skin to soak less often and just get a wet wash cloth on areas that need cleaning. Then we have a routine of lotion, lotion, lotion. She gets lathered down and into her PJs. Then it's feeding time.

I swaddle her up and place her into her crib with a pacifier. Turn her sound machine on and humidifier and let her sooth herself to sleep. I haven't been rocking her to sleep for five days now and she's doing great! Only needing a couple of gentle touches and encouraging words.

Ready for the truly amazing thing: She goes down at 8pm and wakes at 7:30am!! Crazy, I know. Now she does need some pacifier help around 5am, but that's fine by me.

It's bitter sweet. I am sad she isn't in the co sleeper right next to me anymore but it's also fantastic that hubby and I have time together in the evening. It's sad I don't rock her in the dim light of her nursery and watch her drift off to dreamland, but I indulge and let her sleep on me during her naps. *haven't broken that habit yet*

Juliette and I napping on the couch:
So many people come up to you when you have a new baby and say "it goes by so fast" as if to tell me to embrace the moments because you blink and they are gone. I really don't need anyone to tell me this. My heart hurts and is overjoyed all at the same time when Juliette makes it to a new milestone. It's sad she keeps growing yet I can't wait to see who she becomes. It just goes by so fast... so fast.

Some pictures from the past couple of weeks...

Worth The Wait

This hat was given to us by a good friend. It seriously couldn't be more true. Juliette was worth the wait. She was worth the struggle, the tears, years of doctor visits, needles and a cross the world visit. She is just perfect to me. I hold her during her late night feeding, just her and I. Sitting in our glider, I watch her half awake feeding and I am always overwhelmed how something so small can have my whole heart.

I imagined that I would love her but I could of never imagined how deep that love really goes. How every little cough, little scratch can have your head spinning. How you wake up three, four times a night to check her breathing. How a full day will go by and all you did was stare at her. You question everything, "am I doing this right" "is she too cold" "is she to hot" "should we do this instead of that" There is a constant state of worry. Yet, when she sees you walk into a room and her eyes light up and a huge smile appears on her face all those question take a back burner and you melt. She has you, she has you wrapped around her finger. There is no turning back now; hubby and I are eternally smitten by her.

The Smile

Had to share my favorite new photo... this girl can melt my heart with her smile. This is Jules watching her mommy do laundry. I am happy to be her entertainment.