My Mom is coming in tonight. We are going to get the baby's room all ready. Pick out furniture and get my registry all ready for the baby shower. My Mom is the queen of registry and I couldn't imagine trying to go at it without her. She will also be here for the big 20 week ultrasound.
So I needed to get the house all clean for her visit. I don't know about you but I don't clean without a movie on. I know this sounds odd but I need something to distract me from the fact I am cleaning. So today HBO was showing a movie I have seen over three hundred times. And that is not an understatement. I think all the women in my family have seen this movie so many times we could act it out at family functions.
As I am dusting the dinning room table the scene where Shelby tells her mom she's pregnant comes on and hits me like a ton of bricks. Just that line:
"I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful then a lifetime of nothing special"
*the scene starts at the 3:30 mark*
Although I can't relate to Shelby completely, she has type 1 diabetes and is advised not to have a child because of the huge complications and toll it would cause her already failing body. I understand her plea that her life wouldn't be fulfilled without a child of her own. As if her time on the earth would be wasted or in vain.
I have re-watched the scene a number of times today. And I placed myself in her mom's shoes and then again in Shelby's. Explaining her desire to someone who never had to struggle seems to be a common theme in other infertility blogs I read. There always seem to be a wall to break through or a person to convince. But like Shelby I think the choice is personal and one that has to be made with or without the support of others. I just feel after watching the scene I am lucky to have had the support of my family and friends and even the support of people I have connected with on this blog. In the end we are all searching for a those '30 mintues of wonderful'.